Making amends, harder than it looks

So, people are telling me to just make amends and forgive and forget. If only it was that easy. If I didn't have to look at the one thing that makes my stomach do somersaults any time I wanted to spend time with my own society maybe it would be easier. Ofcourse I want everything to go back to normal and for this massive rift to go but it takes two people to make things okay, it takes two people to apologise for doing wrong and life in general is a two way street. I love my society more than anything and I hope people know that